Monday, October 18, 2010

Lets play choo-choo train

Is all going according to plans.

More or less.

Months ago, when I was pushing to return to work, I never meant it to be a permanent fixture of any kind. For that matter, that job was never meant to last as long as it did; originally, I go this because I was not making anywhere near enough cash through unemployment, and I was looking for a way to supplement my income during the summertime till my butcher course started. And how convenient could that be to get a job in a freaking butcher shop?

It was only meant to last a few months, but turned full time when I decided to keep the steady income and job instead of returning to class (where I would have learned very little it turns out.) When I had my accident and was stuck at home for months, it sure wasn't because I was broke that I wanted to go back to work; indeed, I was paid nearly full salary to just stay put. But its something of an annoyance to be forced to not work when I was quite confident that I could have picked up the job pretty much as I had left it. Indeed, if things had gone according to expectations I would have been back to work last fall, instead of last spring.

Before I even had some sort of time frame the decision to move dwellings had been taken. Sure, it didn't go smoothly, there were bumps and so forth, but the dwelling changed, and a good thing it was too. But that sort of required me to stick to the gig I had, at least till we got settled in. And that's all part of the plan.

I'm a man with a plan. The plan isn't in any way complete. It changes according to circumstances, and seriously, that's okay. Of course, even a procrastinator like me will get cabin fever and need to get something, anything done, one way or another. Promises have to be kept, the job's gotta get done.

So I do it.

But now that we're settled in, its time to look for brighter shores. The job is stagnating, the atmosphere is rather unwholesome, and its friggin' time to get out. So I've been job searching. I don't know what I want to do next, but its probably gonna be temporary also, something to help the changes that need to happen. If anything a change of neighborhood is in order. I have considered returning to the old scene, good old customer service. I cant say honestly that I love it, but it does tap both experience and abilities that I have that make me a good candidate. I am looking for a type of work that does not require me to wear jeans and t-shirt and get down and dirty and do heavy lifting.

Back when I took this job, I really needed to get the hell out of the whole office environment. Six and half year is a long time to be answering phones, day in and day out. But I think that I need to go back, if only to find out if I can. Perhaps even to seek a higher post. I don't know, maybe I'm getting a second wave of ambitious drive.  I'll probably need to shoot higher than the skill set that I am confident that I have, and gun for that little extra mile that others might see.

Its not like I don't have a plethora of projects just sitting on the back burner. I have made offers and promises, and I certainly intend to follow through on them. If I didn't, ten I'd not only let others down, I'd be betraying myself, and I cant to that. You don't walk away from death a third time to just let your ambitions go; at the contrary, it kicks your inner procrastinator in the balls and makes it take a hike for a while. I gotta get things done, and bad habits to burn.

First the job's gotta go. Its eating up too much energy for insufficient returns. Its a fucking fossil fuel guzzler.

And then... well, I'll post some more.

You cant make a writer without breaking some pens.

No comments:

Post a Comment