Today, after a ten months absence I returned to work.
I cant really say that I missed the place. Its not that I was happy to stay home and get paid for it; been there, done that, got my t-shirt and used it to clean the windows. The habits born of not answering anyone for my whereabouts for a long enough period of time will take some time to plow over, but at the beginning, it'll take some focused effort.
Ironically, I had been looking forward to this, not so much to "return to the workforce", but to stop being dependent for my income. Especially since that when I left the live-in rehab (aka phase two), I was on a good action roll. I would have plowed through phase three and would have been back at work six months ago. But some unseen forces decided that this wasn't gonna happen.
So the habits set in, and weight poured on, and I am back at the place I was two years ago. Well, minus the bike. I am going to return to the road, but first, getting my schedule in order is what's the most important. And finding a new apartment.
So this spring is going to be somewhat... hectic. But its to be expected really. When you're in a rut for long enough, any decision encouraging change tends to snowball into an avalanche, with more and more little bits of chaos adding on, and the best thing you can do is learn to surf the wave. Trying to stop, or slow it down will lead to nothing but broken bones and unnecessary wear and tear. Build some muscles, and you'll just be able to move larger and larger obstacles out of the way to your goals.
There is no turning back; the past is that dead thing in the closet that's wearing your mother's nightgown. The future is the bright light coming from the doorway. And now, you get to be born, again and again.