Just say fuck it.
Making music happen was something that seemed to come naturally not that long ago. Given a couple of hours, a method of recording and a bit of an opportunity to make some noise, I could crank out a track or two.
Even before that, when I had a band going, we could crank out two or three tracks in a session, with lyrics and all.
Nowadays, its something of a miracle if I can get a sixteen step beat going enough to make me want to preserve it. I fell into the trap of super technology. It seems that as of the moment I moved from a taped-together hodge-podged desktop to a netbook, the creative drive took a hit. I felt like I couldn't run this program or that and that was what was causing the rut.
Then I went and upgraded to a laptop that packs some serious power, got my hands on some serious software that should, according to mythology, allow me to build whatever track I want, and I'm completely trapped by the seemingly endless possibilities, ending up pretty much incapable to getting nothing done. That I have the bastards connected to the internet only compounds the problem, as I have a constant access to distracting material, like say Facebook.
Having shit to do, and too many toys to do it, I had to revert back to the olden days; I unpacked a basic electric guitar (because I can plug it in the boards and play nearly noiselessly at two AM) and got half a dozen basic tracks down.
Oh, its very crude stuff, probably off-beat and so forth, but its still more stuff than I've been able to commit to memory since the material I've done for Bone Structure... and that was a while ago. I can probably get a couple of songs out of those recordings, maybe three, of while one will not be too bad and I can get others to listen to them.
It could happen. It has to happen. When I make commitments, I sort of feel the need to pull through now, especially to friends. Especially to myself. I have projects that are just gathering dust, for no other reason than maniacal procrastination.
Too many things to do. Too many things "demanding" attention. I have to make myself filter them out. I have to decide what the filters will be.
I have to get my mind back.
Everything else? Just fuck it.